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Hello hellooo my friends, welcome!
Today I wanted to write a post on a life update and kind of fill everyone in on what's been going on in my life. I've noticed that some of the most popular & viewed blog posts are the ones talking about me and my life, so I figured I would update you all on a few things!
I struggled greatly when trying to decide how I really wanted to write this post because well, it's my business, and it's out for everyone to see. I came to realize that I am human, I'm not perfect, I do have problems that go on in my life and day to day, and I make mistakes...just like everyone else.
I have gotten a ton of questions from family, friends, acquaintances, etc. about how school is going for me. Let me just say, this is a sore topic.
For starters, I am not in school right now and most likely won't be until next spring. You heard me, next spring.
Last fall I was in a Bachelors of Nursing program, and for lack of better words, I didn't do so well. I studied day in and day out, I did everything I was 'supposed' to do, and I literally got no where. I had done so poorly in one of the two classes that I had no hope of passing the class even if I had made 100's on the last two exams. That's how bad it was.
After that deed was done for, I had no point in continuing school this spring because I have all the classes I need (for the most part) for other Nursing Programs if needed. I ended up re-applying to the program I was previously in, again, so that I could start this fall if I got accepted.
And of course, I ran into another road block.
I ended up not getting accepted to the program. I was pretty much counting on this to begin school again, and "get my life together", because well, I don't have much hope of getting accepted to other universities. At this point, I'm just considering my options and feeling pretty lost.
I am Catholic, and I would say I have a strong faith. I like to talk to God and, I always try to put my trust in Him 100%. It helps me to feel content with the way things go in life, and trust that I am on the right path and I am where I am meant to be.
On the day of my last exam (that I had studied hours amongst hours for and knew thought I knew the ends and outs of) I had a little chat with God. I teared up as I walked to class, and told Him something to the extent of, "I've done everything I could have and should have done to pass this class, Lord. I am 100% confident that I did all that I could do this semester. I know that if I don't pass this exam and I don't pass the class, that You have something better in store for me. I'll keep my head up and know that everything happens for a reason and it is all in Your timing."
By saying this, it really helped me to relax and know that I was giving my problems, concerns, and stress, to God.
After not passing the exam or the class, I kept my head up. Then I didn't get accepted to the program. And I had the same chat with God. Which also helped me keep my sanity.
See, as a 21 year old, these are my problems lol.
School=Life at this point, or at least a great deal of youngsters most likely feel this way. And it's S.T.R.E.S.S.F.U.L. trying to "keep your life together". For me, being out of school for a year is NOT something I planned on. And if you know me, I'm super all over the place....part of me has every single thing planned out and I'm organized, and the other part of me is spontaneous and can't make plans or be committed to something haha.
So having to take this time off of school and figure out what I even want to do with my life, the future I want to have, and act on it has been SO difficult.
Before college, I was NOT used to "failure" or "change in plans" with my education and the route I wanted to take with my life. But boy oh boy has college been a game changer I tell you what.
As far as my job goes, it has been really demanding. I work nearly 60 hours a week as a "sitter" for an elderly lady who I love dearly, and is much like family! Although my job isn't physically draining, at times it can be mentally draining. And I'm the type of person who of course takes the job home with me. So struggling to not hold on to every little upset at work, and bring it home to my mom and sis or even Cody, has been challenging.
And along with all of the changes with school, I'm changing and growing up also.
I'm at a point in life where it almost seems like I'm in the middle. Almost to the finish line, but not really. For example, I pay for all my own bills/fully support myself/buy everything you see me with on my own (except for a house note/bills), but I still live with my mom. I have been dating Cody for almost 6 years, but I don't live with him and we aren't married. I'm kind of in school and figuring it out, but I haven't graduated and don't have a "real" job.
Of course, I know these things will all come with time and effort, and before I know it these issues will only be a bump in the road. But, this has been my life lately. And I've really really really had a hard time handling it. Depression, anxiety, and trying to stay truly happy in myself and my whereabouts, are all struggles I've endured.
Having my blog has been an absolute blessing in disguise. I have been able to have a place where I can focus on something that has nothing to do with anything negative going on in my life haha, and a hobby doing what I love! Having my family, friends, Cody, and the blog has truly made a difference in my happiness and well being.
I don't know what I would do without any one of them!
So recently it hasn't been sunshine and rainbows, or a walk in the park.
However, it has taught me a ton of lessons, and I'm learning as I go.
I can't complain about that!
I hope this wasn't just a sad, sappy, negative Nelly fest of a blog post. Lol.
A lot of my family and friends read here and one of the main questions is about school and work, so in all honesty this is whats been up!
To conclude- I am young, I am learning, and I have time.
These are minor hiccups and I will make a great comeback with time.
Thank you to EVERYONE that reads my blog here. Wether you like the personal posts, beauty, or style posts, I love you all and can't thank you enough for coming back and reading again, and again!
By saying this, it really helped me to relax and know that I was giving my problems, concerns, and stress, to God.
After not passing the exam or the class, I kept my head up. Then I didn't get accepted to the program. And I had the same chat with God. Which also helped me keep my sanity.
See, as a 21 year old, these are my problems lol.
School=Life at this point, or at least a great deal of youngsters most likely feel this way. And it's S.T.R.E.S.S.F.U.L. trying to "keep your life together". For me, being out of school for a year is NOT something I planned on. And if you know me, I'm super all over the place....part of me has every single thing planned out and I'm organized, and the other part of me is spontaneous and can't make plans or be committed to something haha.
So having to take this time off of school and figure out what I even want to do with my life, the future I want to have, and act on it has been SO difficult.
Before college, I was NOT used to "failure" or "change in plans" with my education and the route I wanted to take with my life. But boy oh boy has college been a game changer I tell you what.
As far as my job goes, it has been really demanding. I work nearly 60 hours a week as a "sitter" for an elderly lady who I love dearly, and is much like family! Although my job isn't physically draining, at times it can be mentally draining. And I'm the type of person who of course takes the job home with me. So struggling to not hold on to every little upset at work, and bring it home to my mom and sis or even Cody, has been challenging.
And along with all of the changes with school, I'm changing and growing up also.
I'm at a point in life where it almost seems like I'm in the middle. Almost to the finish line, but not really. For example, I pay for all my own bills/fully support myself/buy everything you see me with on my own (except for a house note/bills), but I still live with my mom. I have been dating Cody for almost 6 years, but I don't live with him and we aren't married. I'm kind of in school and figuring it out, but I haven't graduated and don't have a "real" job.
Of course, I know these things will all come with time and effort, and before I know it these issues will only be a bump in the road. But, this has been my life lately. And I've really really really had a hard time handling it. Depression, anxiety, and trying to stay truly happy in myself and my whereabouts, are all struggles I've endured.
Having my blog has been an absolute blessing in disguise. I have been able to have a place where I can focus on something that has nothing to do with anything negative going on in my life haha, and a hobby doing what I love! Having my family, friends, Cody, and the blog has truly made a difference in my happiness and well being.
I don't know what I would do without any one of them!
So recently it hasn't been sunshine and rainbows, or a walk in the park.
However, it has taught me a ton of lessons, and I'm learning as I go.
I can't complain about that!
I hope this wasn't just a sad, sappy, negative Nelly fest of a blog post. Lol.
A lot of my family and friends read here and one of the main questions is about school and work, so in all honesty this is whats been up!
To conclude- I am young, I am learning, and I have time.
These are minor hiccups and I will make a great comeback with time.
Thank you to EVERYONE that reads my blog here. Wether you like the personal posts, beauty, or style posts, I love you all and can't thank you enough for coming back and reading again, and again!
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